Tuesday, May 31, 2005

The highways agency are retarded. For a few weeks now there have been various football finals at the Millenium in Cardiff, and every one of them has involved a team from the North. This means they get on the M50 at Tewkwesbury and get off where it finishes in Newport. It's not really an 'M' anyway, as it's a dual carriageway. So, do they remove the roadworks for the duration of these finals, even only on the days that the road will be used by convoys of coaches ? Do they bollocks. Chaos. Thinking that they would be bright enough to clear the cones we went to a family party in Cwmbran on fa cup final day and drove down the m50. Luckily remembered the back roads from schooldays once we eventually hit Monmouth. Some friends tried on Saturday. An hour and three quaters to Monmouth. With four kids and two dogs in the car. Great.
J & C had a weekend a Grandmas whilst we celebrated our first anniversary by getting vastly pissed ( we did have a civilised meal as well ) Sunday was very decadent. After getting to bed a half three we lounged around in bed until three in the afternoon. Unheard of. Then on monday, one tired Grandma and two very tired kids arrived home. J had been searching for bugs whilst exploring the garden of my sisters new house. He has a slightly flawed technique of looking under the largest stone he can find and lobbing it aside. I suspect he may be refining this technique after lobbing one on his foot resulting in all of them spending three and half hours in casualty on Sunday night waiting for his foot to be x rayed. No broken bones, but his toe looks vile. That boy is a menace to society and himself

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Today is a very crappy day, and tomorrow will be worse with a nice 8 hour round trip to Louth, the total arse end of nowhere.

The weekend will be happy

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Surprise surprise, A's car was scratched again, spookily a few days after I cleared off some kids who had just got their jollies by diving through my elderly neighbours' hedge. Called the police, mainly to get a crime reference number, and to log the vandalism, if people don't record it, it won't be seen as a problem. Very suprised when an our later our local beat bobby and a colleague turned up. They were aware that I had 'had words' with a few kids last week, and saw it as a revenge attack. They are frustrated, they know who's responsible for the vandalism, but can do bugger all unless they're caught in the act. They also have their hands tied by parents with a 'not my little angel' attitude. If a few years down the line the police are knocking on our door with a complaint about C or J, they'd better hope the fuzz get them before I do. Not that I can see a problem, but, who knows ? We are more likely to have the fraud squad knocking when j has masterminded an international diamond heist at the age of 14, the little swine sometimes has the air of a master criminal, and he's two.
Last week, C was at school, A the doctors and J and I were alone in the house. I was on the phone in the kitchen and I wrongly assumed he was playing. He came blustering in, looking like a man with some purpose. 'Dad, come see, broke it' Me 'got to go, call you back. Broke what ?' 'Broke it, come seeee' He bundles off to the living room, grabs his plastic hammer off the floor and points triumphantly at the front window.'SEE, BROKE IT' No shit sherlock, very broken, next phone call to friendly village builder to see what his plans were for the day. We've added that to the ever growing list, the most expensive being the home cinema thingy that he buggered which has been in the repair shop since February, because they can't figure out what he's actually done to it. 'What did he do' 'Dunno, he's a bit of a silent assasin type.' 'Have you asked him ?' 'He's two, his eloctro-mechanical descriptive skills have not quite hit their peak yet' 'Oh'. He starts playgroup today, A did a lap of honour around the village

Saturday, May 14, 2005

I suppose that's enough bleating about the election, although I'm disgusted that shagger Blunkett is back in the cabinet. Doesn't do much for Tone's vision of respect. Can't see how Hewitt ever gets a job either, vile woman. She should be made to bend over while shagger B clambers on. Very deserving for both.
We're having a bit of a pant crisis at Gumpher towers. I've always been a boxer short man, I like to let my dingles dangle. Apart from sport when they need to be harnessed by an old fashioned jockstrap. A decided I needed new pants and came back with some highly dubious garments. They look a bit like boxers, but they're tight and stretchy.They're tight around the thigh, which feels a bit like wearing an extra pair of trousers. The jury's out, although A thinks they are flattering on the old welsh womb weasel. I'll give 'em a whirl

Friday, May 06, 2005

Well, the British electorate, you are a bunch of cunts aren't you. For those who hold the old ideal that labour are socialists - you wankers, they are as right wing as the previous tory government, and my true socialist grandad will be turning in his grave to see a bunch of tories wearing the red rose. Are you all backwards ? John Reid was a communist, Jack Straw was the president of The NUS. Which part of selling your principles for power do you not understand ? Anyone but the tories. Well you've got the fucking tories you thick twats, but just because you vote labour you think you're holding onto socialist values. You misguided dumb fucks. You get what you deserve, but the rest of us have to too. Dicks.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

For the love of God, please let's not vote that smug conceited wanker Blair back into power today. But people will. They'll forget about the fuel protests, the countryside march, the war, the lies about the war, student fees, broken manifesto promises, whatever it is that floats their boat, and we'll end up with a party that calls itself the labour party governing us again. The party that sold it's soul and became another Conservative party simply to get power. The party that wouldn't tolerate sleaze, yet we've had multiple Mandelsons, Blunkett, Morris, Tony's property dealings. They fucking suck, and yet when I wake up tomorrow, the tv news will be full of that inane twatty grin as he steps over the threshold of number 10 once more.
Still on the upside, Gloucester have once again secured the services of LUUUUUUUUDOOOOOO ! The kicking king returns !