Tuesday, March 03, 2015

Blogging bog down

My blogging has gone down and down over the past two years and when I look at other blogs I always enjoyed, with a few exceptions, this is pretty much the case, with many not blogging at all in the past year.

Why is this? Who knows. Perhaps blogging was a fad, it was an easy way for everyone to express the writer within themselves and engage with an audience if they chose to. Fads are just that, fads.

I must get back to it, for aside from the simple enjoyment of writing for writings sake, my intention was always to provide myself with an online diary of my thoughts on my own life, and my reaction to events around me. Along with that, I met some interesting people in the virtual world, and it would be good to re-engage.

Little has been written of Josh in the past eighteen months, but much has happened, mostly inside his head. Life is sometimes not straightforward for many of us, certainly not for him. He's twelve now, and as well as his mind, he's at that age when his body is changing, with all the imbalances that can bring. He's in his second year of middle school, and school life is a world away from primary school. There's no one reason for this, but medication is obviously a massive part. Another huge contributing factor is a greater knowledge and understanding from the teaching staff, along with more empathy, and dare I say it, care. They key group have a willingness to embrace differences within children, and to try and focus on the positives, rather than primary school teachers who seemed to think that all of the children should be treated and act in identical an identical manner. When I look back, this part is particularly baffling. it's pretty clear that although he's bright, exams are going to be a real challenge in the future, but we'll gradually deal with that. He's in mainstream education, and enjoying it.

That's the upside. The downside is medication side effects, and that is what we have as a family, he's largely unmedicated at home. Huge mood swings, uncontrollable hysterics at times, so much so that we question the value of the medication with the effect it sometimes has on us as a family. That is one failing in the system, here's the medication, off you go. We've now insisted that he has one to one therapy, where he can talk though his feelings with someone he trust who isn't us, someone who can help him understand, and rational his own feelings and frustrations. The anxiety is  still there, he still sleeps in our room on a fairly frequent basis, but thankfully, the night terrors are now only very occasional. Appetite is also a problem, but we deal with that as best we can. He's still doing a lot of gymnastics and trampolining, and has started playing rugby again at school, if there wasn't sufficient fuel, it would be obvious. He can still be deeply thoughtful and is still tactile and affectionate. he has no problem holding my hand or embracing me in front of people, all of which would get a response of 'get off me you freak' from his brother. Being Josh's dad has been somewhat eventful, , but ultimately, I feel he'll be right. One of his teachers said to me a few weeks ago, " I'm not sure what Josh will do with his life, but it will be special, that's for sure"

He's now smashed the living room window three times. Don't ask.