Friday, January 28, 2011

Home alone

Amanda has cleared off to Centre Parcs for the weekend with a bunch of chums leaving me, the hooligans, and the fuckwit spaniel to fend for ourselves.

I must say, she and her friends are very organised. This is the third year on the trot they've done this little jaunt, and every year the spouses involved go into mad panic and forget, hence I'll be collecting numerous kids from school today as I am ace and on top of stuff, so the disorganised toe rags get me looking after their offspring. They will pay in beer.

Tonight is sorted, basket meal in the pub and home by half seven. Tomorrow, Josh is off to a mate's for a sleepover, Charlie and I will cook paella together. Sunday, rugby for both, and I'll do a late afternoon roast when we get back.

I honestly don't know why some men get all stressy and useless about being on their own with their kids. I will admit to one big failing. I am crap with clothes and am banned from using the washing machine after a colour run incident. Amanda has sent me a text explaining where the kids rugby kit is. Sad I know. One things for sure, the hooligans and the fuckwit spaniel will be well fed and exercised, but there will be one mighty pile of laundry.

Monday, January 24, 2011

It's starting to get a bit silly

I've just filled my car up with petrol.

It cost nearly as much as I have paid to fly to North Africa in a few weeks time.

Back in 2000, we had a series of blockades which severely restricted fuel supplies as a reaction to petrol creeping up to 80p per litre. Yesterday, I found myself out in the sticks after rushing around and forgetting to go to a 'cheap' petrol station, and ended up paying £134.90 per litre. Needless to say, it was just a tenners worth to tide me over.

What has happened in the last eleven years? Have we become a more meek and accepting society? or have we merely worked out that these days, you just can't stick it to the man?

Thursday, January 20, 2011


It would be very nice if you could just bog off now.

I've had enough of being cold.


Only 6 weeks to go until a weekend of debauchery in Marrakech.

I just hope they're not planning any Tunisian style stuff, not until we've been and gone anyway.

Selfish, you bet, it is my wife's 40th party after all!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Ye gods, I feel old

Hooligan number 1 was eleven today. Happy birthday to Bean.

Normal school day followed by a tough session at boxing club and then his fave Chinese take away in front of a dvd.

Tomorrow I'm taking him and a few of his chums to Castle Grim for an evening European rugby match.

I cannot believe it was eleven years ago that I was desperately avoiding the business end,nursing a bad hangover as a very chipper young Kiwi surgeon neatly sliced open Amanda's tum to bring him into the world accompanied by a sound which rather resembled the noise of a big Guinness follow through.

Happy birthday chum.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The 'Beautiful' Game

I don't get football.

Well, I do get in the sense of 'win ball, put in the net', sport doesn't get simpler than that. I don't get some of the people who follow it.

This weekend, there was crowd trouble at Newcastle v Sunderland, and Villa v Birmingham. On Monday, I spoke to a chap I know as we bumped into each other walking the kids up to school. He'd been to the Villa game and confessed to feeling very intimidated as he walked from the ground and felt it prudent to change his route a few times. I was staggered when he casually said 'Well, twenty years ago, I would have just waded in, but I'm a bit old for that now.' I don't know him particularly well, but the comment left me somewhat shocked.

I am passionate about being Welsh and watching Wales play rugby, but I have never seen so much as a punch being thrown at an international match, likewise when watching Gloucester. On Thursday night, I'll be at Gloucester v Agen with Charlie and a few of his chums, and we'll all enjoy the game without the slightest fear of any trouble.

What is it about football that brings the tribalism and violence of supporters to the surface? How can you hate another person on the basis of what team they support?

Like I said, I don't get it.

Friday, January 07, 2011

Money saving

During the Christmas jollidays, I finally got off my arse and got on with what I had told myself to do for ages, but constantly put off due to the vast boredom of the task - renewing insurance and utilities.

I was right, it took up the best part of a day, but I have saved, get this, £1020 a year.

That's by moving gas and electricity, cars, buildings, contents, and annual travel insurance to different providers. I feel more than a bit dopey for not having done it before.

I will shortly be bunking off work and buying industrial quantities of beer and fags to celebrate.

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

The New Year

I never have New Year resolutions. Once again I simply hope that I will enjoy the year even more than the previous one. Constant optimism.

A quick piece of advice for the morons who were all over the media yesterday complaining of 'mountains' of uncollected waste on the pavements.

Yes, you pay your council tax, and yes you have not received a service for which you have paid, but the rubbish is still there. There are places called recycling centres, tips in old money. If it bothers you that much, chuck yours in the back of the car and take it there. And if you have an elderly neighbour, take theirs too. It's really not that big a deal.

Hope that helps.