Why are the utility companies such a useless bunch of cockends ? Every bill we've had in the last year has had a price increase, and they still declare vast profits. I've got to get off my arse and switch suppliers. They all use automated call centres, and I fucking hate them, as soon as they ask you to start pressing one for this and two for that I start boiling. Next time they ring me when they're chasing money I'll try to go into auotomated mode and really confuse some dweeb sat in downtown Bombay. If you do manage to speak to someone when paying ( I don't pay by dd because they never read the meter, and their estimates are always way out ) they finish by asking 'Is there anything else we can help with ?' Why ? Can you tell me why I keep slicing my nine iron ? Could you make the Home Office run properly ? If you want to help, get a real live human being to answer the phone within five rings . Gimps

Given up on Big Brother. What a bunch of retards. If Shabaz got taken to a vet he'd be put down, no point in prolonging his pain. Seriously, where do they find such fucked up people.

The usual bunch of social misfits and freaks are back in the Big Brother house. I'll be watching, it's crap tv, but once again it will pull me in, and once again it will make me feel good about myself in comparison to the whackos in the house. Shouldn't laugh at tourettes, but a bloke strolling around yelling 'wank !' a lot makes me giggle

Question Time was a giggle last night. The panelists were Lord Heseltine, Menzies Campbell, Piers Morgan and Bren off of Dinner Ladies. Seriously, what fucktard ever told Hazel Blears that a career in politics was a good idea. She was so way out of her depth that I almost felt sorry for her. ( I said almost, and the feeling passed swiftly).
I seem to be writing too much about politicians at the moment, but I loath this labour government, and watching them die like a fly on a turd amuses me

Glad to see that the cabinet reshuffle has sorted out the country's problems , and we can now sleep soundly at night safe in the knowledge that president Blair has his finger on the pulse.
So, what do we get, well if you're weeny peeny Johnboy, quite a lot actually. No actual job, apart from answering the odd jibe from lord Dave at question time when Tone's on his jollidays, retention of a full salary and the grace and favour properties, bet the fat twat has an few extra portions to celebrate. A stroppy former Marxist in charge at the home office, and weirder than weird Ruth Kelly, has a responsibilty for equality. You couldn't make it up, a women who belongs to a right wing Catholic sect, oops group, who believe homosexuality to be a fundamental sin, and she's a government minister with a portfolio for equality. Check out her voting record with such issues, there isn't one. The capacity for the jaw dropping, you're shitting me knows no end.

Another disturbing issue, marmite in a squeezy plastic bottle. Noooooooooo. You can never finish a squeezy plastic bottle, the last inch refuses to budge, all you get is splat of Heinz or Hellmans accompanied by a vile fart. This is not want when I apply marmite to my toast, it'll be like when the cat had the squits

Public service announcement

Don't mix beer, red wine and gin on a school night.........................................

Just when Prescott thought he was doing a good job of lying low and keeping away out of the spotlight The Sun runs a story about his 2 inch todger. Priceless. I always new this lot had no balls, now it appears they've got no cocks either.

If I hear any more about Wayne Rooney's foot I'll just shit myself. Is there a world cup coming up ? You'd never fucking know.

This is the view from our room the other weekend. it's actually the view from being sat on the pan, a loo with a view. The view from the bedroom was the same, we didn't have to take a dump to see the sea. I love North Wales, and hadn't been there for years. We dropped the kids at my Mum's and scooted up to Snowdonia. Empty, twisty roads, brilliant fun to bomb along. We did some horseriding, a lot of walking, ate some wonderful food in the hotel restaurant, drank to much, and had two blissful, uninterrupted nights sleep.

The Labour scuzballs have certainly excelled themselves in the last couple of weeks. That irritating, patronising cow in charge of Health must be thanking the good lord for Prescott and Clarke, it's certainly provided a wonderful shit deflector. Clarke is simply not capable enough to hold his position. You might not have agreed with the policies of men like Parkinson, Hurd and Heseltine, but I bet you felt confident that they had the ability to carry out their jobs effectively. They had a certain gravitas about them which these mickey mouse politicos certainly don't. Prescott is a buffoon, given a position of high power to appease the union and old labour support. The woman he shagged does not come out of this particularly well, but jesus, poor bitch having that fat lardass clambering on, I hope the Mail on Sundays shilling meets the physio bill of having that pie eater bouncing on top of her. Blair has to back these cretins, although all three are obviously incompetent, who would replace them ? Hazel Blears ? Ruth Kelly ? Fuck me gently with a spoon, thats a scary thought.