The countdown to Christmas starts. C seems to be coming home from school having done something seasonally themed ever day. It's the school carol service at the village church next week. C has once again made the dizzy heights of shepherd, a career treading the boards doesn't seem an option.

I have a problem with civil servants, particularly those from customs & excise and the inland revenue. Sad little tossers with cheap shoes and cheap suits. Topping the list of those most likely to wear novelty ties and socks at this time of the year. You go to work every day on your lovley little flexitime hours, always pissing off at three in the afternoon on a Friday. Stay in your crappy job for long enough and get your tidy civil service pension. Some of us choose to be a tad more adventurous with our working lives, so give us a fucking break when the cheque's a few days late. The government of the day is only going to waste it on another shite computer system to try and run your department or on a drop in centre for mongolian lesbians. Mutated, smug gimps. And why do they always insist on introducing themselves as Mister this or Mrs That, what, do we have to fucking bow in your prescence ?

AAAhhhh, that's better.

A weekend to savour. Mum had the boys and A & I set off for a bit of R & R, courtesy of Mums wedding present. A small country hose hotel with superb views of the Welsh countryside. I think we forget just how beautiful parts of this country are. After mooching around the bookshops of Hay on Wye we took a single track road which leads you up the Black Mountains and down the valley on the other side to Abergavenny. The views were simply stunning, and very few people about. This may sound poncy, but I felt very much at peace with myself, which is rare.
C & M are back from their year of travelling NZ and Canada, and we are all looking forward to seeing them, particularly C, who has missed his Auntie C. They have kept in touch wonderfully, sending the boys postcards from almost everywhere thet went. C keeps them in his desk with his 'precious' things, which is an oddball collection of things that are important to a four year old

A mixed weekend. J's birthday, as predicted was mayhem. It was great to be at home during the week and to be able to take C to school in sit in on a Friday assembly. The chaos started after school. I went to pick C up and ended up collecting him, two of his boisterous chums, plus one of J's little friends. So struggled home with three school bags, three lunch boxes, one pram, one small child and two large stuffed 'Bear in the Big Blue House' teddies. Small children then proceeded to run around like dervishes and (again) as predicted apply vast quantities of chocolate cake to every available surface. J enjoyed himself, and cleaned up on presents, including some particularly annoying noisy toys. Here's hoping they had cheap batteries fitted.

C & I went swimming on Saturday morning, and to his joy it was belting down with snow when we came out. The pool is in Malvern which is considerably more elevated than where we are, so only cold sleet when we got home, much to his disgust. Settled down at 5.30 to watch Wales v All Blacks and once again retired to bed with depression compounded by Glaws losing at Sarries the following day. Sarries, for fuck's sake, you know the season's on the slide when you lose there. Wales have got to stop being the nearly side and win when the opportunities' there. I am losing count of the amount of 'new dawns' I have lived through with Welsh rugby, it sometimes has a groundhog day air about it.

Sunday was a day of pure drudge, apart from an hour in the morning. C's football coach had asked if I'd help out, due the the increase in numbers, and I thoroughly enjoyed it, which is more than C did, having taken a big whack to the head, crying and retreating to the touchline. It's good to get him out and exercising, and blow to the head aside, he seemed to enjoy it. He does struggle with his breathing very early on, and I think it's time to see the quack for a medication review. The rest of the day was consumed with painting, which I loath. I'd rather spend the afternoon roasting my own bollocks. Still - bathroom looks nice.

A return to reality at work. A lady who works for me came back to work today after a terrible loss last week. Her son and his partner were due to have their first child last week ( also her first grandchild) but something went horribly wrong in the last three minutes of the birth and the little girl was born without a heartbeat, and they could not revive her. What can you say to someone in that situation ? We have all suffered from bereavemnet, but I have never lost someone that young. With adults you always have memories, but they will never have memories, only thoughts of what if? Being the father of two small boys almost made me feel guilty, a stupid feeling, but it was there nonetheless. I have no idea how they must be feeling, and I hope I never do.

As I sit here typing this the view from the window is a depressing one. Britain in November is a very unpleasant shade of grey. It's 3.45 and we are already shrouded in a gloomy half light. I cannot stand this time of year. Everything is made more dismal, the news always seems to be more morose, or is that me being more morose ?

There is light, a long weekend starting tomorrow, J's second birthday. If he's two, that makes me uuuuuuummmm, nearly 37.Cosmic. After working stupidly hard this week I am going to struggle not to be zombified at the weekend, a plan will be hatched and kept to . I know we have a party planned for tomorrow, although A has organised it, and I have no idea who will be there, I assume assorted rugrats will be smearing chocolate cake over our soft furnishings, and the cats will vanish for the day. Swimming on Saturday, and settle down late afternoon to watch Wales (hopefully) give those poncy All Blacks a rugby lesson. Football with C on Sunday. FOOTBALL. I ask you. He's not old enough for rugby, so football it is. I've even been roped in as a 'parent/helper'. I realise I am no expert on the roundball game, but for my own vanity, call me a coach. Gumpher you're a coach, boom boom.

Shame Colin Powell's going. The only sane one in that bunch of retards. Replaced with Condi Rice. Jeez.

Once again a post starts with 'not done this for a while'. What's new ? Had another holiday, a quiet family job with A and the kids to a small farmhouse up in the hills in the Algarve. Had to go during the school hols as C started primary school in September. My god they spank you on the prices during the hols, bunch of no good money grabbing bastards. Still, a cracking break with plenty of sea sunshine and good food. C has slotted into school with no problems, finds it a bit tiring by the end of the week, he's a good feller. J still an angelic devil if that makes sense. Home is bedlam at the moment. All of us getting used to the new routine and two new kittens charging around the house. George passed away just after we got home from Portugal. All very sad, we'd had him for fifteen years, and he had a life full of love. Its something you have to deal with if you choose to have pets. C was devastated so we decided the best move would be to get another cat straight away to focus his mind, which has worked. I still expect to see George on the front step as I get home from work, he was a good companion . I buried him under the rosemary bush.

Still in the process of shifting the company, I will go mad if we lose another deal, I need my sabbatical !

Yet again, time between posts, but this time I've got an excuse - it's been total chaos, but on the upside A is now Mrs M, how cool is that ? It's been a period of time which has flown by starting with my stag in Bristol. A good hardened crew was assembled with M back from NZ , R from HK and D from Spain, 16 in all. A cracking time had by all with the bonus of watching Wales stuff the baa baas. I think I got off quite lightly apart from some interesting body art which eventually came off with exfoiliating cream. Roaringly drunk - of course. A few days to prepare, spent the night before in the village pub with dad and the wedding crew as above, and then the big day. It rained in the morning, but as we drove to the church the clouds parterd and the sun stayed for the rest of the day. The church was full of everyone who has ever meant something to us both over the years, and that in itself was beautiful to see. When A eventually stood by my side she was stunning. I'm sure all grooms say this but Mrs M is a damn fine looking specimen, and today she was more lovely than ever.The service was wonderful, I particularly enjoyed listening to my English chums having to belt out Cwm Rhondda. The boys behaves superbly throughout the service which made me very proud. A cracking reception which flowed seamlessly through the afternoon and evening. My speech was a bit of a duffer, I had nothing scripted, I didn't feel that was appropriate and I knew exactly what I wanted to say - public speaking has never fazed me. I was not prepared to be as overcome with emotion as I was, my new wife beside me, my sons and my family and friends and I am afraid I choked somewhat, and I'm not sure I projected all of what I wanted to say . It is a day that will linger forever in my memory as one of the happiest of my life. More was to come, A and I had a stonking honeymoon on glorious Koh Samui, stunning island, wonderful people. The boys stayed at home with my Mum, and although we missed them, it meant a great deal to both of us to have time on our own together in a beautiful place. A major shock on our return was the news that my grandmother had died whilst we were away. my mother had decided not to tell us, which I am grateful for. I take consolation in that the last time I saw her was a happy day, with her family around her. The funeral, as usual, was grim

After not posting for some time I decided to reread the whole blog ( which didn't take long). My god, I've mellowed, must be the impending nuptuals. A has told me that I am more tolerant and less rude these days and I supose she's right. I think I am generally too fucking knackered to get too het up these days. There are still some exceptions. The Zurich premiership play off system sucks arse. Blair is still a wanker, so no change there.Pity the condom hadn't been used really. Bush is soon to be squirming like a stuck pig as it becomes apparent that perhaps the yanks should actually start training some of the trailer trash that they allow into their armed forces. Very much the minority amongst the good soldiers, but jeez, how did they get in ? And are there really people that stupid ? Arsenal going unbeaten seriously pissed me off as does the upcoming Euro 2004 as I like Portugal, and I hope we don't get tarred with the same brush as the backward fucks who will no doubt do their level best to trash the place.Apart from these few side issues the glass is more full than empty, and the smell distinctly more roses than shit

Hey hey, long time no blog. Just over a week to go before we become Mr & Mrs. No stresses, everything hunky dory. Stag next week, rugby and beer, the usual suspects. Then onto the big day with the whole catholic sheebang to keep the portuguese happy. One day of hugging the children and soaking up some love, and then 10 days alone together on Koh Samui. And to make it even better, the company should be sold when we get back. Life is sweet, shame the rest of the world is as mad as a box of frogs at the moment

Geez, just checked this and I've done bugger all since February. Lacking motivation ( for a lot of things, not just this ) Tired, pissed off, still, sun's out

Today is one of those days when I'm am damn glad that the company is being sold. There said it. My life for the last ten years will be no more. G and I are taking the shilling and scarpering. Price nearly agreed, just the lawyer and accountant shite to go through and then I'm FREEEEEEEEEEEEE. To do what I don't know. Depends on the lucre. I need enough to start something else, but if we get the right price I don't have to work for a couple of years, but that is a non starter, I'd go mad. A six month sabbatical is the plan, perhaps get down to Oz for a month and see Dad, do a bit of travelling with A and the kids. Batteries back to nuclear capacity, C starting school, fresh ideas, fresh start BANG - I'm steaming.
I've enjoyed what I've done, and taken pride in some kind of achievement, and the majority of clients I deal with are good people, but when you have a wanker like the one today, who wouldn't be happy if we chucked a night with Kylie in with the deal - well walk on the good life

A good start would be to get back into a decent exercise routine. I'm not keen on the next time I have to step on the scales. Hell, I'm no bloater, but I've always been fit, and since I hit the mid thirties and had kids, the whole exercise thing has gone a bit. If i don't keep on top of it I start to develop love handles. Yak. Rugby is out of the window, I'm enjoying watching it, but I cannot risk a bad injury. I had twenty five good years of playing and I'm suprised I don't miss it. I suppose because I'm still watching I'm still getting something out of it, but it's not the same. Back to the gym I suppose. Half four dark and cold, bunch of arse

The whole wedding thing is starting to seriously piss me off. I just feel like I want it done, finished, and then its just the two of us on a beach in Thailand far away from the insanity of it all. It seems impossible to please people which is very odd because I thought that people would want to please us as it is our wedding. Too simple - it would appear so. I am fast approaching the our way or the high way school of thought. Very down at the moment, I need a positive surge to get me going again

I really do need to get more motivated about this blogging malarkey. Just realised my last effort concerned my impending speeding case and I am now the owner of three penalty points and a sixty quid fine, which I thought was a bit of a result. Also, a total waste of money. Why didn't they just give me a fixed penalty notice ? The points would have been the same, and the fine only thirty quid less, and christ knows what it costs to put a case through court. Pathetic, and indicative of the crazy red tape that permeates every sphere of our existence.
Took a day off for C's fourth birthday on Monday. When he hit the sack for his last night of threedom he was convinced that all his teeth would have fallen out, and that he was in for a hefty windfall from the tooth fairy. Suprisingly, given his present tantrum level, he was not that disappointed to wake up with a full set of ivories. He thoroughly enjoyed his day out at a wildlife park in the company of a few of his hooligan chums, not sure if the animals felt the same. They charged around like Linford Christie on speed for a few hours, and then - clunk, a switch gets thrown and the batteries run out. Mum and Dad get a blissfully quiet journey home.
One more day at the office and then its leaving on a jet plane for a long weekend of rugby, red wine and compulsory snail eating. I adore France. It's so - well, - French. The added bonus of no women, no kids, and the company of like minded cretins who are equally determined to spend the odd weekend in a Peter Pan like state still thinking that we can stay up late a drink stupid amounts. Still, it's a challenge and a gauntlet I will pick up with gusto. Allez les Glaws

Oh, got the bloody summons through for that speeding incident in September, the crafty sods backdated it to November. Bunch of arse

Christmas finishes at last, and the nose firmly hits the grindstone. A bizzare holiday, nearly two weeks off without actually going on holiday. The usual orgy of present opening for the kids, which C enjoyed hugely, but J at one remained unimpressed - ooh great something else that makes a stupid noise. Do they really need toys that quack for stimulation ? Still, we got through it without killing each other or the kids. Managed to get out and about as much as possible, but found myself strangely jealous whilst yomping along next to the Avon freezing my nadgers off when thinking about C & M jollying around NZ. Still, maybe if things go as planned we might find a few months in the sun ourselves.

Still don't get the whole new year thing. Went to a pleasant shindig at friends, but everyone turns into an arse at midnight. Is it absolutley compulsory to sing some dorky scottish verse and hug and kiss the nearest strnager simply because the date has changed? It's a pile of crap and even when bladdered, have never managed to to catch the vibe.

With Christmas over it's back to the miltary op that is the wedding - aaaaargh. Still got the ring and settled the South African national debt in the process - must get round to proposing.